Nebula 9 Torture
by gawilliams
Summary: Episode additon to season 5, episode 6, The Final Frontier. Castle and the Nebula 9 marathon.


_I am about half done with the next chapter for Kate Beckett, but this idea kept coming to mind and I decided to quickly write it out. I hope you enjoy it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Castle wasn't sure what the legally correct, perfectly nuanced definition of torture may be, but he had an inkling that it had to have something about _Nebula 9_ marathons stuck in there somewhere. This was absolute torture! But he had promised, and now here he was after Beckett had coaxed him away from his bathroom where he had been hiding behind his life size Boba Fett. Just where the Hell did she get that absolutely hideous mask from? Mr Happy was still in hiding, and it seemed that nothing at this point was going to erase the horrifying image of Lt. _Gruesome_ revealing herself in his bedroom. Most definitely not _shiny_!

Then he had suggested, as calmly as his frightened mind could, that instead of making out, perhaps they should start with the _Nebula 9_ marathon instead. Oh, yeah. Now there was a real winner. Not! The first episode wasn't too bad. Take away the poor acting, cheesy story lines, and lame costumes, and leave just the ship, particularly the Bridge, and you have a hit on your hands! Yep. He had to give kudos on the set design of the ship, but that's the end of the kudos department. After that it's either make out city or it's a total bust of an evening. That brings him squarely back to the sad state of Mr. Happy.

He sighed. Then he looked down at his leg and saw her hand sliding, inch by inch, up his thigh towards the previously mentioned wilted Mr. Happy. _Come on, Big Guy. Perk up. Salvation is at hand and we may be able to get through this torture session if you would simply live up to your name. Please? Pretty Please? You know you want to. _Damn!

"Uh, Kate?" Castle squeaked, totally embarrassed.

He saw her turn her head to him and the wicked, lusty smile on her face. Taking mental stock, he silently screamed at Happy to get with the damn program, but of course that was asking way too much.

"Yes, Castle?" she asked, the tone a sultry, husky cadence.

He groaned. "I think...uh...maybe we should...uh...focus on the show...," he suggested, totally humiliated.

"Rick Castle more interested in _Nebula 9_ than a possible hand job from his muse and lover?" she teased.

"It's an awesome show!" he managed to choke out, trying not to have to admit the real problem, though he was damn sure she already knew what was going on.

"Well, a convert at last," she said with a touch of sarcasm.

He was now screaming profanely in his mind at his disappointing appendage, but to no avail. The sarcasm was not lost on him, so he knew for certain now that she was up to speed on the problem.

"It's never too late to be educated in the finer elements of science fiction," he said, still choking on the words, but getting them out anyway.

"Good for you, Castle, but just so you know," she said slyly, "if your education falters a bit I'm not wearing any panties with this costume."

He patted her hand as he removed it from his thigh, now cursing her for not playing fair. No panties? In that skimpy outfit? Just how many times over the years had he fantasized and prayed for a miracle moment of just such a case of easy access with Beckett? Then what happens? He gets it, with full approval and participation guaranteed, and Mr. Happy decides to take a vacation.

"That's good to know, Beckett," he told her, giving her his best smile and then a nod of his head to the big screen television. He mentally grimaced on seeing the bridge crew sling out all that lame dialogue, but kept up the pretense of faking like it was the best thing since sliced bread.

After God alone knew how many mind numbing hours of watching all the drivel being depicted on the screen, the final episode was coming to an end. He was somewhat glazed over at this point mentally. His eyes were barely receiving any visual signals, and his body had stiffened into a near permanent sit. Beckett, of course, had spent all those hours engrossed in the show, casually throwing out fact after fact about it all, and letting him know all about which scenes had influenced her the most in her younger, college years. He was forced to admit she did have a point about Lt. Chloe, but the show still sucked in his opinion.

The good news was that Mr. Happy was finally, mercifully, deciding to show a smidgeon of life once more. Not the full on salute stage that the Big Guy was known and loved for, but it was a start. Castle knew that the nightmare marathon was about over, and if Happy was back in business, then he could look forward to that hot make out session that had been so _**hideously**_ ruined many hours earlier.

"Mmm," Beckett purred. "It seems my favorite plaything is showing some renewed life."

"Good things come to those who wait, Kate," Castle poured on the charm. He may be tired as all Hell, but there was no way that another make out session was going to bite the dust. No way!

"You know, Castle, I was thinking," she said, cuddling in close.

Castle was absolutely giddy. Mr. Happy was almost there. He could feel it, and the stirring was timed just perfectly. "Yes?" he said huskily, trying to let her know that he was ready, willing, and able to take care of any sexual task she may need fulfilled. There was no way that her foresight in not wearing panties was going to be wasted! Delayed, perhaps, but not wasted!

"I really liked that costume Alexis and her friends were wearing at the Comic Con," she told him. "Maybe I can get one and wear it one night for a bit of fun."

Stop the music! Mr. Happy has once again left the building! Instead of Kate in a totally hot assassin costume his mind showed him the horrifying image of his daughter, his sweet, totally pure daughter Alexis, in that skimpy, almost non-existent, costume. He mentally told himself that that sweet and totally pure bit was absolutely true, and even if it wasn't (_**which it was!**_), he was going to safely tuck himself in that wonderfully delusional world of denial that every parent wants to live in at one point or another during the life of their teenage child.

"Uh...Beckett...? Maybe I should go and cuddle a bit more with Boba for some safety and security," he suggested as Mr. Happy shriveled again. "After that I'll do a bit of laundry and then maybe join you in bed. I think I need to reassess the whole costume schtick and...uh...maybe even Halloween in general..."

She chuckled at his retreating form, knowing he was heading for the bathroom to spend some more time with his beloved Boba Fett. She went to the bedroom and slid under the covers, happy that her bit of revenge for all his disparaging comments about _Nebula 9_, right though they may have been, had worked out so perfectly. She could deal with one night of no making out.

As for Castle? He now knew with absolute certainty that _Nebula 9_ was torture. Plain and simple torture. Just ask Mr. Happy.

_A/N: I hope you enjoyed my comical episode addition. I hope to have the next chapter to Kate Beckett posted by the end of the week. Gregg._


End file.
